To younger me. To my younger self.
The grip of your fist
holding memories is strong enough
as if a newborn holds his
entire destiny
as if he cries and is
reluctant to loosen the grip
Do you still fear losing
memories?
Alas! Ageing overpowers
retention potentialities
Hope you accept this soon!
Chasing one's shadows leads one nowhere
facing oneself is what
one is ultimately left with
not all resistances are
born to be successful
Let 'anitya' — the
higher truth — win as always
Sand is meant to be blown in the air
A fist cannot hold it for long
I wonder!
Is anyone capable enough
to conduct, contrary to one's own dharma?
Oh! Escaping remains an
option
unless one realises he has
conscience.
History reminds us every time —
at later ages, most ones
see the sky clearly
the same, they couldn't
view earlier, even with spectacles
Why there is a spiritual
desire at this age —
to come closer to reality?
What if one remembers going
through self-analysis?
what if one understands, it
brings samyak drishti?
what if one knows, it can save one's atman from becoming impure?
________________________________
07.09.2026| Rahul Khandelwal
रेत जब फिसल रही थी
क्या छुअन किसी और की थी?
गुज़रे हुए वक्त में
तुम नहीं बीत रहे थे?
समय किसी का मोहताज नहीं
बशर्ते कि तुम्हें ये याद रहे—
उसके संचालक तुम नहीं कोई और है
'शायद' वो ख़ुद ही है
(दावे से बचता हूँ)
यह एहसास अतीत की रेखा को कभी मिटाता नहीं
बिना उसके मुमकिन नहीं जान पाना—
मनुष्य के लिए
अस्तित्व, पहचान, और चेतना को
ज़मीन पर पड़े रेत के कण तुम्हारे अपने ही हैं
बचाया जा सकता है धूमिल होने से उन्हें
और बच सकता है तुम्हारा संपूर्ण "मैं"
________________________________
15.08.2026 | Rahul Khandelwal
How important is it to give closure?
Did you understand then? Why didn't you give one?
I went back a thousand times at our meeting destination
Did not even find our fragrance last time
I laughed, I cried then—
do humans have enough words to define their emotions?
Language always fails in such moments
I examined the documents containing memories of us
Tears did moisten the remaining dried fossils
as if digging them might get easier
Hope is a good thing, no? Is it so?
Now, portions of mine make occasional visits there
as if they're refusing to forget the address
You know naa—accepting the truth is never painful,
the resistance to accept it hurts the most
I'm still waiting for the closure
and you still accuse me of not giving one
Yes! I intentionally did not give the same.
To whom I consider as ones
shaping my 'idea of existence, identity and consciousness'
the corollary of which defines my 'idea of self'
I don't give them closure.
________________________________
10.08.2026 | Rahul Khandelwal
The understanding pertaining to taking into account material conditions only as part of the historical setting is limited. As it overlooks the other components like the understanding of epistemes (the underlying historical structures or frameworks) that constitute the historical conditions of possibility within which certain discourses emerge; these discourses, in turn, produce what is accepted as knowledge in a given historical period. Thus, historical setting not only includes that material conditions but also how people understand their time and space—their mentalities, moral standards—which together make the prevailing thoughts and thinking patterns in a given historical period.
दो तरह की भाँप उठती है
कहीं दूर घोर अंधेरे में
जहाँ की तह में पहुंचने के लिए
बाहरी और आंतरिक अन्तर्सम्बन्धों के संघर्ष से गुज़र रहा हूँ
ध्यान की उस स्थिति ने दोनों का एक ही पता दिया है
मैंने दोहरा-दोहरा कर पूछा फिर भी
मुझे शक था
लेकिन मैं गलत साबित हुआ—पता एक ही था
एक भांप है इंद्रियों से उठती है
बेड़ियाँ अधिक है उसमें अपवित्र तृप्ति का मुखौटा ओढ़े
वो आज़ाद भी करती है और बाँधती भी है
गुहार—मैं बंधना नहीं चाहता
ये रास्ता अभिशप्त है दुःख भोगने के लिए
दूसरी का रास्ता शून्य की ओर ले जाता है
स्थिरता है वहाँ और सब कुछ पाख भी
दुःख से परे और सुख से भी
लेकिन फिर भी आँसू बहते चले जाते है
सत्य ज़ोर-ज़ोर से पुकारता है
मेरे कानों को वो चीख लगातार सुनाई देती है
मैं उसे नज़रअंदाज़ किये जा रहा हूँ
अधार्मिक तृप्ति अभिशप्त है जीवित मृत्यु के लिए
मुझे ऐसी मृत्यु नहीं चाहिए
________________
27.07.2026
Rahul Khandelwal
"Power, using its state apparatuses, can produce one or multiple truths at a time. Many times it does to replace existing realities with manufactured truths, and many times it does to erase the truths humans are surrounded with completely. Heterodox fissures, within the structures, may arise from many cracks, out of which not all are the results of natural developments.
Humans, in order to understand the processes, are taught to acknowledge immediate factors and conditioned to ignore those forces operating beneath the surface of the events. There might be a hidden probability that such ignored forces are designed and manufactured to make sure that humans take notice of a few cracks or fissures and overlook many.
The nature of the modern state is more dangerous than what our expectations are."
_______________
18.07.2026
Rahul Khandelwal
सिहर जाता हूँ यह सोचकर भी कि मनुष्य याद करना भी भूल सकता है। दावे ज़ाहिर करने से हमेशा दूर रहा लेकिन यह कह सकता हूँ कि कम से कम एक जीवन के लिए तो स्मृतियाँ अमर नहीं रहती। हैरत है कि या डरता हूँ अगर जो ज़हन में भी आ जाएं कि समय के एक अंतराल की कुछ स्मृतियाँ सूख जाती है। कभी-कभी अतीत की चौखट लांघते ही वो अपना मालूम नहीं पड़ता कि जैसे अजनबी हो। क्या तुम्हारे भीतर कोई आवाज़ चीखती नहीं यह जानकर? तुम्हारे सच को अतीत की जिस याद में बनते हुए मैंने देखा था, वर्तमान की चौखट पर वो मेरे लिए कई अनबुझे सवाल छोड़ जाता है। मैं किस पर यकीन करूँ—तुम्हारे अतीत पर या वर्तमान पर? पर्दा मेरी आँखों पर डला था या नकाब तुम्हारे चेहरे पर?
Still remember
the distance between the two moles
beside your left eye.
Lights on the windows in the cold night
made you anxious.
Blushes hide your moles in the woolens.
It appears
as if a sense of pure touch
reduces the distance.
But the case is otherwise.
Fusion makes two souls one enough
as if one's process of breathing
intertwined with consistent memory of the other.
Becoming one
makes an illusion before others
as if the distance between them reduces.
Illusory! It transcends and reaches infinity.
________________
03.05.2026
Rahul Khandelwal
'What doesn't condition a person?'
she dares to think.
She only raises a question,
and the order starts collapsing.
_______________
10.03.2026
Rahul Khandelwal
Mask your conscience!
Adharma is the new law!
—yells humanity while wailing.
Its silent screaming
echoing in the darkness.
Incessantly increasing
and brightening lights around
engulfing the cries.
Humans are witnessing
relief of a sigh
as if spring arrived on time.
Normalization,
passiveness
—humans' new ornaments
replacing instincts,
fallen colored petals
and green leaves
remain unheeded.
Have mercy!
___________________
03.03.2026
Rahul Khandelwal
